Yesterday I ran a workshop as part of a mum’s camp at a hospice. It was a privilege and an incredibly humbling experience. Each of these mums have a child that is dying or a child that has recently passed away. No-one can really understand what these mums go through without having a similar direct experience. They have a unique set of joys and a unique set of challenges. However, during the workshop what came through strongly was, whilst most of us could not even begin to fathom what they are going through each day, they really understood each other.

It is easy to compare yourself to other parents.

A few short years ago, when we had parties or play dates or when we met up with friends etc. other people’s children would come up to me and I would bend down, talk to them, play with them. And when my own children came to ask me something I would answer them quickly and focus on the other child again or move on.

Whether it’s comments from another parent, grandparent or your own self-talk, you can feel judged as a parent. It doesn’t feel good and often results in feelings of stress, irrational reactions and lacking empathy for yourself and others, including children. These can all lead to feelings of regret and result in a downward spiral effect very quickly, all of which take you away from the present moment.

Most parents find that when things are going well, everyone is in good health and work goals are progressing, there’s a juggle between work and family, but it all works out most days.

What is the most important currency that makes life easier for working parents?

You’re a high flyer at work. You get sh*t done. You’re known for doing whatever it takes to get projects over the line.

If you don’t yet know who she is, Jacinda Arden is one of the greatest political leaders of our time. In the aftermath of the Christchurch Attack, as prime minister, she has navigated the community with empathy, love and political grace. She has requested other world political leaders to focus on peace and empathy for their muslim communities, as she leads the way on how to do this in New Zealand.

The conversation for women managing life and work is still more prevalent than men in today’s society but men’s concerns about their lack of balance are increasing.